Respect is a phenomenon that is renowned with the Yoruba people, it is a culture that the Yoruba people take pride in.
It is an important aspect of the Yoruba custom that has been passed down to every generation as it is an epitome of peace and orderliness which we take very seriously.
It is used as an indication of social status, wealth, maturity and or old age. In Yorubaland, everyone is expected to show respect and courtesy to people older than them. Although one would expect respect to be a matter of choice, it is so in Yoruba culture too, really, but it is not completely a matter of one’s choice when the other older person demands it.
Respect is a societal norm that is earned automatically in yorubaland and can be demanded if deemed necessary, respect is shown in speeches, greetings and attitudes. Yorubas use alphabet “e” as in the phonetic of the first letter “e” in elephant to show respect during a conversation with an older person (“e” is also used when addressing two or more people irrespective of their ages) and from an abrupt bow or kneeling to a full prostration for greetings. It is also shown through putting one’s arms behind one’s back when talking to adults.
Respect is yet shown in other forms as it is a known attribute of Yorubas to call a non member of their families “Brother or commonly called Boda for males and Auntie for females respectively. Yes, it is normal and common with virtually all tribes to call non family members uncles and aunties especially if they are old enough to be one’s parent but in the Yoruba’s case, it is far beyond that
There is no presumed age margin to earn respect from someone younger but a four year gap is seen as enough, sometimes, it could be as close as just a year.. It is more common among young adults as they begin competition out of it, they use it as a measure for boldness and class or how gull and easy a person is. An example is a 16 year old who does not call a 19 year old “Boda”. The 16 year boy may be seen as bold and dogged while the 19 year old seen as easy or stupid. In such situation, if the 19 year old demands “boda” from him and he refuses to call him so, both parties may end up having severe rift in their relationship and might lead to them not speaking to each other until the deadlock is resolved.
As other tribes do not fault the act of name calling their parents, in Yorubaland, I can say certainly that no one is allowed such (except for jokes)
A wife is normally required (irrespective of level of education or exposure) to call her in-laws boda and aunty regardless their ages and to use Yoruba alphabet ‘e’ when having conversations with them. She is also required to show high-level charisma (Oyaya) when approaching them even though she might be well older (please note: this is not mandatory but it is a norm and sometimes could be demanded if necessary).
All Yoruba persons would testify that they have called well enough non family members boda and aunty and they also have had same prefixes before their names when conversing with younger people
Elderly people would not normally tolerate unnecessary jokes or jabs from young people as seen in this saying “woin lebu agba” *translated thus; an elderly is easily abused with a mere joke*. A youngster is not allowed to say a proverb while an elderly person is present, that is disrespectful. If one must say it though in order to make one’s expression clearer, one is required to promptly apologise to the elderly person present, that is to further elaborate the culture of respect in Yorubaland.
Respect is hierarchical in Yoruba culture, the manner one swiftly bows or kneels to an adult or older adult as the case may be would be different to how one is expected to make a full kneeling gesture or a submissive chest touching-floor prostration to one’s grandparents or to one’s in-laws at a traditional wedding and or to someone with social status e.g Kings or a famous elderly person.
And you know what? This special, God given culture has come to stay in Yorubaland and with Yoruba people despite our mass civilisation and education.
By: Bola Olalekan
Very true !
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